Do you have trouble sticking to a task until it's complete, or narrowing your activities to allow you to make significant progress in the ones that are most important to you? Here are some tools--a book, a software, and a box--you may find helpful.
STOLEN FOCUS; Why You Can't Pay Attention--and How to Think Deeply Again
by Johann Hari, 2022
This is not a how-to book per se. It is a cry of desperation by an intelligent, sophisticated author, and the story of his journey toward disciplined thinking. Hari has received some negative criticism on Wikipedia regarding events I am not qualified to judge, but his book has received wide acclaim, and for good reason. Stolen Focus is a practical assessment of where we stand as a people, as well as how we might best move forward, as individuals, councilors, parents and voters.
After I read the book, I decided to try two of the tools Hari tried, and--bingo--time and space opened up in my life that had been routinely wasted on frivolous activity. The oddest part of the experience was that stripping away activities that I had thought were making me happy produced absolutely no twinges of frustration or remorse...only a calm "wow". Habit formation and re-direction is peculiar! Warning: this is a serious, heavy book, not a pleasant read. On the other hand, it may untangle your mind, lighten your baggage, and help you walk forward along a path toward your better self.
FREEDOM.TO: A Software
This software isn't perfect, but it's powerful and fun. For a small fee per month you can set up an account that locks you out of any specific apps or websites (or all websites) for whatever time period, or time schedule you choose, on any number of devices. It's called freedom for a reason: it feels great. I have locked myself out of access to YouTube and gmail after 10:00 PM every night so I am likely to get more sleep. I locked myself out of the two most common movie and TV video streaming services entirely on my computer so that I'd only watch them on my husband's computer, because he doesn't go overboard (a half hour or an hour during dinner). I used to spend too much time--hours and hours each night--watching movies or TV series. By entirely I mean that I'm locked out except for an hour in the middle of the night, so the level of trouble required to change the settings is sufficient to prevent me from doing it.
KSAFE: A Lockbox
KSafe--and others products like it--are similar to a standard safe, except that the locking mechanism is an electronic timer integral to the lid, not a key or password or "combination". You dial in the length of time you want it locked, then press a button to start the timer. You can prevent access to its contents for anywhere between a few minutes and several days. Hari used a lock box to restrict his access to electronic equipment. For now, I'm just using it to lock away my money and credit cards all day--not every day, but most days--to prevent visiting a nearby cafe several times a day, a habit that interrupted my focus, increased expenses unnecessarily, and reduced somewhat the quality of what I ate.
https://www.insider.com/guides/home/ksafe-review
LIBRARY: A Quiet Retreat
I don't remember whether or not Hari mentioned libraries. I've found that my library has a few spaces with desks where people can sit with or without a computer and write, read, and think in peace and quiet. Here is an inexpensive, simple, and pleasantly unassuming way to focus for a few hours by eliminating the distractions that surround me at home. The library offers its own potential distractions, but so far I'm immune. With increased focus as a conscious goal, it's just a matter of experimenting to see what works.
GRIT, The Power of Passion and Perseverance, by Angela Duckworth, 2016
Grit is a book for grownups about the role of hard work and perseverance in success. It's a clear outline of how to become more self-disciplined, and how to raise successful children. Written by a psychology professor who bases her thinking in large part on scientific experiments and findings, the book is enjoyable to read, including as it does many stories about real people.
DAILY RITUALS, How Artists Work, by Mason Currey, 2013
Daily Rituals is an odd, pithy book that offers up brief descriptions of the quirky daily habits of famous musicians, writers and artists. What does self-discipline look like in the world of successful artists? Take a peek!
Disclaimer
Freedom.to and KSafes won't work for everyone.
Some people have no need for improving their focus and discipline, because they're already good at it, or for whatever reason they are happy the way they are. No need for more tools.
On the other end of the spectrum, some people seek help from new tools, but find Freedom and kSafe too easy to break. For example, a KStafe could be broken open by a sledge hammer or large screwdrivers. I myself started messing with Freedom by postponing a regularly-scheduled lockout session just before it was about to begin. I then asked the company to change the software so that one would enter two schedule: one for access to change settings, the other for lockout from the apps themselves. But of course such software changes would take time. So after a couple weeks, I simply made the unlocked time periods so short and so outside my normal waking hours that everything
is fine now. It's a more draconian solution, but, hey, that turned out
to be quite okay.
These tools only increase the effort required for pursuing undesirable impulses. The level of artificially-imposed difficulty required will vary based on the circumstance and the individual. A sense of humor and experimentation help.
